I was reading this column the other day, and had a good chuckle... then I realized, I was chuckling because I understood the references... and then I realized, I might just fall into some of these categories!!!

I picked a few of my favourites from the list "You know you've lived in Indonesia too long when..." (which actually had about 100 items on it - several I believe to be specific to living in Jakarta, which, very very thankfully, I don't!). I've included my favourites below, and added a few of my own. But just a warning, those of you who have never visited or lived in Indonesia, and who don't like to be perplexed, you might be really bored, and should just skip this blog post!


You know you've lived in Indonesia too long when...

* You too believe traffic lanes, stop signs and one way streets are mere suggestions and that sidewalks were meant to drive on or they wouldn't have paved them. You also tend to use your rear-view mirror as a distance gauge, not to check traffic... because 'if it's behind you, it doesn't exist'!

* You can drive 60 kmh two inches from cars on either side of you, but cannot back into a parking space in an empty lot without two guys yelling “Kiri…Kiri Terus, Terus, Terus…”

* You differentiate between the rats that are ok to find in your house, and the ones that are not

* The footprints on the toilet seat are your own (*I finally understand the reason for the sign I saw ages ago in the bathroom in the Manado Mall...)

* You no longer wait in line, but immediately go to the head of the queue (I'm still WAY too Canadian to do this!)

* You're willing to pay to use a toilet you wouldn't go to within a kilometer of at home

* It is no longer surprising that the only decision made at a meeting is the time and venue for the next meeting

* You find it saves time to stand and retrieve your cabin baggage while the plane is on final approach

* You are quite content to re-choose your order six times in a restaurant that only has four items on the menu, because everything is 'habis' (out of stock), and you know that you can assume that if you visit again next week, or next month, it will still be 'habis'!

* A meal of rice, ramen noodles and fish sound like a well-balanced meal (the noodles accepted as vegetables here)

* Taxi drivers understand you... and you them!

* You own a rice cooker

* When crossing a busy street you believe that a limp wrist motion with your right arm creates a force field that repels oncoming traffic

* Even you start to believe that Brian Adams, Celine Dion and Avril Levine are the only three Canadian musicians that exist

* You look left, right, backwards, forwards, up and down before crossing a one way street.

* You've seen every Hollywood blockbuster three weeks before its premier

* You know at least fifty Indonesian acronyms, including BuGil (Bule Gila/ Crazy Foreigner), Curhat (curiga hati/ heart-purging dump session), Jumpa Berlian (Jumat Pagi Bersihkan Lingkungan Bersamaan/ Friday mornings, clean our neighbourhoods together), etc, etc

* You often eat at kaki limas or street vendors (the thought of mystery meat, or street meat, a distant concern)

* You carry tissues in your pocket for 'emergency stops'; OR, even more over the line... you don't have toilet paper in your bathroom anymore

* You answer the phone in Bahasa Indonesia

* You're stoked because your new flashlight came with a built-in cell phone!

* The blowpipe salesmen stop trying to sell you a blowpipe

* You don't find it odd that when you order a cold beer, the waiter serves you beer with ice in it; OR, even more Indonesian... you prefer your beer warm!?



Ok, so on the whole, I'm still safe... haven't crossed the line of living here too long... I UNDERSTAND all the references, but I certainly haven't incorporated the practices into my being... so I'm ok... right? ... right?